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“Are you sure he’s coming?” I asked, feeling anxious. Sweat formed beads on my forehead and upper lip, and I dabbed on them with my handkerchief.

I didn’t know what I was thinking, asking one of my best friends to set up a blind date for me. He’s also gay like me, but we just don’t have “it.” It’s nice to cuddle with him and all, but I just couldn’t think of us as lovers. Neither could he. But guys being guys, yeah, we fooled around. A lot. But that was before. We kind of made a silent agreement, months before, to stop. It would be good for us. At least, I thought it would be. Besides, I think he’s seeing someone. I know he is, but he wouldn’t tell me who the guy is. He just said I would know soon.

“Yes. How many times do I need to tell you? You wanna make a bet on that? You heard him confirm it this morning. Doesn’t even know that he’s going out on a blind date.” He paused to snicker. “He thinks we’re just going to hang out here and see a movie after.”

That’s just the thing. I knew who I was going to go out on a date with, but he didn’t know anything about this. Talk about a surprise blind date. For him, that is. You see, we had always been a trio - James, Adam, and I - but ever since James and I found out we have something in common, we kind of grew closer, I think. Adam had never been the proverbial third wheel, though. Every time we’re together, we’re all of one mind. James and I just shared a little secret, but it didn’t matter, because I noticed that the two of them also have their own secret. I wasn’t about to ask when Adam isn’t even asking me anything.

I started having this crush on Adam on my birthday, two weeks ago. I never really noticed him before in a sexual way, because we’ve always been like brothers. We had this small party for a few friends at my house, and some of them were going to sleep over in my room. Of course, James, Adam, and I were going to have the bed. We got extra airbeds for the others. We had gathered in my room after the little party, and it was decided that we were going to have a game of the classic truth or dare. The only difference was that I was the one who was going to call the shots, since it was my birthday. Fine by me. At least I wouldn’t be subjected to anything that I might not like. So we all formed a circle. They did, I mean.

The bottle was spinning so fast, I almost thought it wasn’t going to stop. It did, eventually, and I found out that Samuel Abrera had cum in his pants the first time he made out with a girl. His most embarrassing moment, he said. He spun the bottle and got out of the circle. The bottle stopped, pointing at Julius Bacolod who admitted stealing a thousand pesos from his dad’s wallet for the most grievous crime he had committed. The third time the bottle was spun, it stopped, pointing at Adam. He looked at Sam and Julius and said, “You guys are boring.” Then he looked at me. “Dare.”

“They’re boring, huh?” I smiled evilly. “Someone please find the cheesiest song in my PC. Adam is gonna do a strip tease for us, and then he’s gonna dance for us naked!” The guys all cheered and laughed.

“You’re going to pay for this, Dustin,” he muttered just as the music started.

I shot James a dirty look, but he only smirked at me, almost laughing, actually. He had always harassed me for my choice of music, but I never thought he would go as far as playing my favorite song when I asked a cheesy one to be played.

Maybe it’s intuition. Adam threw his head back and I was hooked instantly. But some things you just don’t question. He started to sway his body, moving with the beat of the song. Like in your eyes… I see my future in an instant. He lifted his T-shirt teasingly to his chest and then let it fall back down again. And there it goes… I think I found my best friend. It took almost everything I had to stop myself from grabbing him and tearing his clothes off of him. Thankfully, the other guys’ cheering kept me from doing something really embarrassing. He lifted his tee again, this time peeling it off completely. I know that it might sound more than a little… He stood there naked from the waist up and swishing his hips seductively. Crazy, but I believe… His torso was slim. He didn’t have a jock’s body but you could see muscles under that smooth tan skin. Wow, no fat. I knew I loved you before I met you. His hands went to the front of his pants toying with his belt. I think I dreamed you into life. He unbuckled it, and I forgot everything else. I was focused on those tight black briefs as his pants fell to his feet.

“Dustin. Dustin? Dustin!”

“Uh… yeah?”

“Thinking of your birthday again?” James asked, totally knowing the answer.

“Yeeeaaah,” I answered dreamily, “You know, I regret stopping him from pulling those briefs off.”

“Well, he was begging.”

“Yeah. He would have stripped and danced naked but he would have been mad at me for god knows how long.”

“Well, there he is now,” he said, pointing him out from the crowd, although there wasn’t any need for that, as my vision zeroed in on him. “Bye! I’ll be… around.” The last word dripped with mischief, but he was gone before I could ask him what he meant. Knowing him, he’s probably lurking around the place. Or hiding in the toilet. I got a bad feeling about this. I smelled a practical joke. It didn’t stink something awful, but it did smell bad.

“Hey, Dustin! Where did James go?”

“He, uh, left.”

“What do you mean? He said we’re gonna hang out.”

“You wanna get some food?” I asked, trying to divert his attention because I was beginning to panic.

“OK. Let’s.”

We got our usual. Him, a Big Mac; and me, a quarter pounder. Yeah, I know. Date. But hey, at fifteen, this was all we can afford. Besides, as far as I know, I was the only one considering this as a date. Yeah, a coming out date. A tell-all date. A bare-your-deepest-secret kind of date. For me, anyway. I knew Adam thought we’re just hanging out. I watched him bite a chunk from his awfully thick Big Mac. He set it down, then brushed the hair out of his eyes. I think it took him eighteen seconds to properly chew that chunk before swallowing it. My eyes followed his lips as they wrapped around the straw, sucking, I mean, er yeah, suck, root beer. I watched as it grew to a smile, which forced me to look in his eyes. Shit, he caught me staring. He took a bite again as if nothing happened. Whew. Calm down, Dustin. It’s just Adam. Adam. Just Adam. Breathe in. Breathe out.

I couldn’t believe this. I was with a guy I’ve known practically all my life, and I was nervous. I needed to calm down before he asks what’s up.

“What’s up?”

I started sputtering, Coke going down the wrong tube. What the fuck? I just thought it and he suddenly did it. “Drink some more, Dustin,” he said, holding my drink in front of me. I did, and it helped clear my throat. “So… what are you so nervous about?”

“You,” I answered, feeling my cheeks start to burn hot.

“Me?”

“Yes, you. Don’t you realize how hot you are?” I’d spoken it, at last. I didn’t exactly think it would be this early, but I also didn’t think I could say those words confidently. I watched as what I just said dawned on him, and that I was serious. His eyebrows were knitted together. His eyes were glued on me like I had just transformed into an alien. And his mouth hung open, showing remnants of the unswallowed Big Mac. That look was just so priceless! I wished I had a camera with me. I just hope he’s gay too. And interested, preferably.

But he was silent for such a long time that I began to fidget in my seat.

“Aren’t you gonna say something?”

“Were you saying what I think you were saying?”

I grinned. “Well, what do you think was I saying?” He almost answered, but I stopped him. “Adam, I’m gay, and I’m kinda, well, I’ve got a crush on you.” I blushed. Big time. “This is actually supposed to be a date but, of course, you thought we were just going to hang out.”

“A date?”

I blushed brighter. “Well, I asked James to arrange it.”

“That bastard,” he muttered.

“You’re not mad at him, are you?”

“No, just surprised,” he said, shrugging his shoulders, “So… you like me?” I nodded. “I didn’t think he was right.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I uh… I don’t know how to say….”

“We’re boyfriends,” James said, plopping down beside Adam and startling us both.

Adam and I turned to look at him. I was momentarily puzzled; then, what he said hit me.

“Oh man, I am so embarrassed.” I covered my face with my hands. James could barely keep himself from falling to the ground laughing. I suddenly remembered the tone of mischief in his words earlier. “You planned this.”

“I did,” he admitted, giggling, “I’ve been trying to convince Adam to come out to you, because I know you certainly don’t have any problems with it. I thought if you made the first move, he’d find the courage to come out to you. But I also know we’ll have bigger problems if you become even more deeply infatuated with him. Hehehe.”

“But you embarrassed me,” I whined. “You made me look like a fool.”

“Who says you aren’t?”

“Shut up,” I muttered. Turning to Adam, I said, “I knew he was seeing someone, but I never thought it was you.”

“Sorry, I was afraid to tell you. I always thought you could make a book about gay jokes and how to make one.”

“I was that bad?” He nodded. “They’re just jokes, you know. It shouldn’t define my character.”

“Yeah, well, out of the abundance of the heart…

…The mouth speaks. That’s a bunch of crap! Don’t quote the Bible on me, please. My parents are bad enough. Actually, they’re the worst, I swear!” The two of them only rolled their eyes. They’ve heard this all before. I knew they were tired of hearing it, but I was not yet tired of ranting about it. So suffer with me. I looked at my two best friends in the world, smiling. “We’re gay.”

“Yeah, but unlike us, you’re sexually deprived,” James said, smirking, “And you know what? You owe me a hundred pesos, because this guy’s got a small dick.”

“You remember that?” I asked incredulously.

At the same time, Adam reacted. “I don’t!”

“Geez! What’s with you two? You guys left your sense of humor somewhere today?”

“It’s a bad time to make jokes, babe,” Adam said, smiling. James looked at him in surprise, and I swear, he melted. I guess this was what he has been waiting for. They’re finally being true with each other in front of me. I wonder why I didn’t notice anything before. They actually looked perfect to be with each other. I knew that if we had been in my room, they probably would have been kissing already. It’s a good thing we’re here. I just might have been shot full of envy if they did that right now in front of me.

“You know, I still can’t believe this,” I said, “I mean, out of everyone, I was in luck to be best friends with two other guys who are gay like me. This is… wow… we’re all gay! Don’t you think it would be awesome if everyone was gay?”

“Yeah,” James answered. “That’s probably how the dinosaurs disappeared from the face of the planet."

 


Portions of the lyrics of “I Knew I Love You” by Savage Garden

© 1999 Sony BMG Music Entertainment.


 

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